Believing/Knowing

Believing. Knowing. Whats the difference? At times none. At times all the world. And subtle. I understand that during Mass as the priest says the words, “This is my body,” and, “This is my blood,” a change occurs. It’s a miracle. The bread and wine, while retaining all outward appearances of the bread and the wine, literally change into the Body and Blood of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God. God Almighty. Body, blood, soul and divinity are all at that point present and meant for my consumption that I might have eternal life. I both believe this to be true and know it to be biblically, doctrinally sound. I know it and believe it. But … This Sunday something else occurred, something that I am at pains to describe. It’s hard to put an emotional response to a divine truth into words. As father poured the wine (and at that time it was still wine) into the various chalices meant for the congregation a thought came in anticipation of the consecration. It was this: “It IS the blood of Christ.” I’d put an exclamation point at the end of that thought but there isn’t enough room for all it would take. And at that moment believing became more. It became a knowing of a new sort for me. And I knew. It was a drawing closer in truth to the Divine Truth that is the personal Christ manifest to me. As an act of faith, in knowing, I knew I was supposed to drink from the cup this Sunday. That may not seem a big deal to some but for me it was huge. I have never in my life, for various reasons I won’t go into here, but that of themselves are in their own right huge, drank from the cup. This knowing has brought Christ closer. More precisely it has brought me closer to Him. He has brought me closer to Him. And I kinda wonder if I don’t know the reason. But then I’d rather not try to second guess God.