The Conceptual Mime

The conceptual mime? What’s a conceptual mime you ask? Well, its a product of mine, necessity being the mother of invention and all that. You see, I’ve always liked mimes. I like watching them, they’re entertaining. And as I watch them I can see the talent and work involved. I also think, as I watch, about how great it would be to be a mime. But then I think about the talent and the work involved, the two ofttimes being synonymous, and even though I’d like to be able to do that I’m just not willing to put forth anything more than wishful thinking. I’m not willing to put forth the effort.

Enter the conceptual mime. I’ve simplified the process of becoming a mime. First of all, a conceptual mime dresses normally, wearing regular street cloths instead of the traditional black and white stripes and solids with suspenders. And there’s no white grease paint for the face, there’s just the face. And where a mime would act like there’s a wall in front of them, going through all the movements that make you “see” the wall and experience it even though its not there? A conceptual mime just uses a wall. When a mime walks without walking? A conceptual mime simply walks. And lastly, the traditional mime being silent while body movement and facial expression conveys the message, a conceptual mime just goes ahead and talks like anyone else.

So I’ve simplified being a mime to the point that there’s no talent or work involved at all. All I have to do is whatever it is I’d do anyway and call myself a conceptual mime. Neat trick, huh? Sadly, it doesn’t seem to be catching on in the entertainment world. The circus hasn’t called, producers from the Tonight Show haven’t faxed me an invitation, and when I go out and decide to treat the masses to a little conceptual mimery as I walk down the street no one pays any attention. You’d think I was just one more person doing nothing really.

Now, that’s enough of that. I’ve explained my having become a conceptual mime and cried a little in my cream soda because it doesn’t seem to be getting me any attention regardless how often … Oh, lets just forget it.

Enter the conceptual Catholic. (And you should’ve seen this coming.) The conceptual Catholic, finding it to hard to be a real Catholic, changes the thing by definition and so becomes a good Catholic without having to put forth any effort at all. Conceptual Catholics go to Mass just like they’re supposed to. And they’re supposed to whenever the weathers good, there’s not a game on TV, they need to get away from neighbors, or just feel like it. You know, on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, and Easter. Well, most of the time anyway. They go to confession often, and that’s as often as they think about it. Enough said there. Pro life? Sure they are! Of course that’s got nothing to do with politics or how they vote. That’s obviously two different things. And moral standard? You better believe it. Its important to keep up appearances when someones watching. The rest of the time? Well, if no ones watching who cares? Doesn’t matter then, does it? And then there’s teaching the children to grow up to be good Catholics. Hey, set an example and they will follow. So the conceptual Catholic has that covered. Just like an ostrich has its head covered in the sand.

You know, it occurs to me that ‘ll never get anywhere in the world of mime by being a conceptual mime. That doesn’t really bother me. I’m content to let Marcel Marceau reign. (An aside here, because I gotta tell you … I go in to see my oncologist and as we talk I say, “Oh, have I ever done my impersonation of Marcel Marceau for you?” And he replies, automatically and without even looking up from the computer, “No. Do I want to hear it again?” 🙂 ) So I’ll never be on Saturday Night Live. I can live with that. And if I’ll never get anyplace being a conceptual mime …

How far will anyone get, me, you, anybody, being a conceptual Catholic? And is that place really a place any of us truly wants to be?


The Gift that keeps on giving …

A Rosary Meditation: The Third Glorious Mystery, The Descent of the Holy Spirit.

“And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they began to speak with divers tongues, according as the Holy Ghost gave them to speak.” Acts 2:4, Douay-Rheims.

And for the record nothing has changed. Nearly 2,000 years ago, on that first Pentecost Sunday, God sent His Holy Spirit to lead and guide the Body of Christ, His Church. ( “Church” singular, for those who miss that point.) Through all of the centuries after that day, the Church’s Birth Day, He has kept Her and guided Her. That means He has kept and guided us, you and me. And all of the “yous” and “mes” over all those centuries.

Paul said there would be a revolt. “Let no man deceive you by any means, for unless there come a revolt first, and the man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition … ” 2 Thessalonians 2:3. And Arius, along with the antichrist doctrine concerning Christ and his being only a man with God in him (See 1 John 4:3.) was revealed for what he was. And God’s Church survived, stronger for the battle.

Governments, from Rome to Great Britain, France and Mexico, some of these governments governing peoples predominately Catholic, have falsely accused, persecuted both the priesthood and the laity, even putting many of God’s faithful to the sword, and with what result? The Church continues while earthly kingdoms crumble and turn into nothing more than chapters in a moldy history book. And in our day, just a few years ago, a Rosary crusade that began with three shepherd children in Portugal brought down the Soviet Union.

Satan uses media to foster lies, disseminate anti-Catholic propaganda, and so turns the masses against God and His people. For all that? People convert anyway.

Things don’t always look very promising. A shortage of priests, scandals, and more. Things are rarely as they seem. When things look bad?

“To thee have I lifted up my eyes, who dwellest in heaven.” Psalm 123:1.

Just a thought … Think about this when things look bad. 2,000 years ago God sent His Spirit to guide and care for us. Nowhere are we told that He ever took that Spirit away.