The Healing Moment of Grace

I really enjoy the internet. I do, it’s a safe haven. Oh, I know that there’s a downside but there’s the upside too. The upside, for me anyway, is the anonymous nature of the web. There are only a couple of people who follow my blog or subscribe to my Facebook updates or have liked my Facebook page and so get the things posted there that really know who I am. Only a couple of people who could get in the car, drive over and knock at my door. That’s good for me. It’s good because I can share just about anything here without concern. The folks who read what I write hopefully get something out of it, that’s why I share, to be an encouragement to someone else. With help and encouragement in mind please scroll down real quick and check the time-stamp on this post. Because what I’m about to share happened just a few minutes ago …


I just finished evening prayer. People go through cycles or periods of what I’ll call “stuff” for want of a better term. Immediately, with just the simple word “stuff”, you know exactly what I mean. Lately I’ve been dealing with stuff. To be specific, and honest, the stuff has been anger. But I haven’t been able to figure it out. I mean, I don’t feel anger at anyone or anything in particular and I haven’t taken it out on anyone, which means I’ve stuffed the stuff, but its been an underlying current that has become more and more visible to me on a daily basis. And so I was thinking as I prayed. I understand, having learned from the people I’ve lived around most of my life (long story, just believe me), that most if not all anger stems from fear. A fearful person strikes out in order to protect themselves. Fight or flight, in this case its fight. Rather than run away scared, to take flight, some, perhaps feeling cornered in one way or another with no place left to run, fight. And as I had that thought two things happened. I remembered how frightened I’d been at age five. I’ve shared here in the past, without going into any real detail which thing I won’t do, that I was trapped in an abusive environment as a small child and was rescued at age five. Right after my fifth birthday as a matter of fact. I remembered that fear and just then, a I prayed, I looked up and saw my little statue of the Infant of Prague. He looks about five years old. And I knew. It wasn’t about anger. The anger was a screen hiding the fear. It was/is about fear. And I knew I needed a big brother to keep me safe so I wouldn’t need to be scared anymore. And I knew Who that Big Brother is. At that point there was the gift of a healing moment of grace. Normally it takes time to heal, sometimes a long time. Sometimes healing is instantaneous. This ones going to take time I know. But now the healing is on a new, a better, a higher level. Awhile back I realized I needed a Mama and God gave me one. That helped a lot, a wonderful step in the healing process. Now? More help.


Why do I share this? Because someplace out there at the other end of cyberspace is someone with a frightened five-year old hiding inside. And I want you to know that you have a Big Brother. He will keep bullies away, hold your hand when you cross the street, and watch out for you so that you will be safe. You don’t need to be afraid anymore because you can count on Him.

Published in: on November 25, 2012 at 7:22 pm  Comments (2)  
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  1. I can relate to this unfortunately. You almost lived my life., only backward..this has been a blessing for me to read.,much more than you could imagine. GOD bless you friend…HE had me stummble onto your blog for a reason.thank ypu

  2. I’m glad it helps. It helps to share and talk about wounds, ills, dis-ease. Happily, we have the Greatist Listener Who’s been through life just like us, and He shares too. 🙂

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