Thinking on the our Last Things: #4

The Four Last Things: #4 … Hell.

Well, here it is. I can’t say I saved the best for last. This is something to fear. And the reason to fear hell, in part, is the same reason for fearing death and judgement. We are not made for hell. That is one of the things that makes it such a horror. I say horror. I can no more understand hell fully here and now than I can Heaven. I’m satisfied with my ignorance of hell. I hope to remain in eternal ignorance of it. To be honest about it I do have to admit that I’ve always wanted to see it. Just a glimpse, like the little shepherd children at Fatima. I’ve always felt that if God would let me look at it I would live better. But I suppose, and this thought comes as I type it (one more good reason for me to blog, I learn as I go), that He wants me to live for Him out of love and not fear. So I guess I shouldn’t want to see it. I ought to draw nearer Him instead. The closer I get to Him the further I am from hell. What is hell? It’s a little hard for me to define. Oh, there are theological and dictionary definitions. Those aren’t what I need. I need this to be personal. I need to know what it is I don’t want. What I don’t want, that is hell for me. I don’t want “alone”. Down time is good, even needed. But this is another kind of alone. No God. Ever. Separated from life and the Author of life, the Source of life, Life Itself, for ever and ever and ever and … This aloneness knows no end, no spring break. Hmmm. No spring. There’s life again. No life. Not just a lack of companionship and consolation but the mock consolation of a myriad others, human and fallen angel alike, and their hate-filled companionship in place of God and His Love for eternity. There are so many other things, words I could use. I don’t want darkness, I don’t want a void from Truth, I don’t want pain and suffering of a type that goes clear through my being for all time and beyond time. I don’t want tears of agony, I don’t want to hear the shrieks of all the others as I add my own. I don’t want … This sounds nightmarish. It should. And more. All the nightmares of all the world for all time would not, could not compare to one one trillionth of a nano second in hell. I exaggerate you say? Maybe. I’m content not to know. I don’t want to ever know. Happily He doesn’t want me to know either. Probably one more reason He doesn’t show it to me. I’m good with that.

Published in: on July 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm  Comments Off on Thinking on the our Last Things: #4